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The hype and madness surrounding 5G has always been pretty wild to watch.

On one hand, wireless carriers spent years implying that 5G was some type of cancer curing miracle technology (it’s not). At the same time, oodles of conspiracy theorists, celebrities, and various grifters tried to claim 5G was a rampant health menace (it’s not). In reality, 5G’s not actually interesting enough to warrant either position, but that never stopped anybody in the post-truth era.

The Trump administration’s pseudo-populist attempt to tap into the more delirious and desperate segments of the electorate has long taken advantage of this latter group’s often-legitimate distrust of modern medicine, corporations, and public safety regulators.

That’s once again the obvious plan for CDC conspiracy chief RFK Jr., who continues to purge government websites of any language that points out that cellular phone human health risks have not been scientifically proven via peer-reviewed, large studies:

“The FDA removed online information that said scientists have not connected exposure to radiofrequency (RF) waves, emitted by cell phones, to health problems in users.

Some of the removed webpages contained “old conclusions,” an HHS spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal. The spokesperson also said that researching cell phone radiation would “identify gaps in knowledge.” The agency provided a similar statement to Scientific American, adding that the research was “directed by President Trump’s MAHA Commission.”

RFK Jr. says he’s launching new “studies” (whatever that means given the standards we’ve seen applied in his unscientific anti-vaccination rhetoric) exploring the impact of 5G wireless on human health, and has been making the rounds making scary noises to what’s left of U.S. journalism institutions (like the pretty feckless USA Today):

“Generally speaking, electromagnetic radiation is a major health concern,” Kennedy said in the exclusive interview, when asked for his concerns about 5G towers. “I’m very concerned about it.”

In these interviews, RFK Jr. is making completely false claims that there’s “more than 10,000 studies” proving a clear risk of human harm from cell phone use. The World Health Organization found no justification for health concerns after a meta-analysis of nearly thirty years of research.

While it’s hubris to insist we know everything about wireless’ impact on human health, the science we do have traditionally points to a very clear conclusion: 5G isn’t likely to seriously to hurt you. In fact, in many ways 5G is potentially less harmful than previous iterations given that the millimeter wave spectrum being used in many cities can barely penetrate walls, much less human skin.

As Scientific American notes, while there have historically been studies suggesting potential cancerous impact from massive exposure using rats, “studies in humans have been inconsistent and limited in scope and efficacy.” The FDA had previously, and correctly, stated that “the weight of scientific evidence has not linked exposure to radio frequency energy from cellphone use with any health problems.”

Now if the Trump administration was actually serious about launching real-world scientific inquiries into cell phone health’s impact, that might be something. But we’re long past the point where this weird assortment of zealots deserve any benefit of the doubt. Especially given RFK Jr.’s history of completely unscientific, fear mongering gibberish.

Trump authoritarians love leaning into conspiracy theories for several reasons.

One, it exploits often legitimate frustration with institutional failures to tap into a neglected part of the electorate they can farm for support with fake populism (you see this commonly across the “MAHA” set, the anti-war lies, and the fake administration claim to support meaningful “antitrust reform”).

Two, it helps create an information fog of war where the electorate finds it harder to reliably identify what’s true, in turn making people more distrustful of the few legitimate media organizations still interested in the truth. This in turn makes it easier for authoritarians to lie to you (and the movement’s adjacent grifter economy to rip you off with false promises and cures).

Three, it distracts the public from what the Trump administration is actually doing most of the time, which in telecom and cellular has largely involved destroying any remaining oversight of our shitty telecom monopolies that are keen to rip you off.

It’s not populism, it’s exploitation. There are no answers here, only more confusion and chaos for suffering people. All to mask broad, grotesque corruption by a broad assortment of terrible human beings.

Many of these MAHA segments being targeted by Trump grifters (see: RFK Jr.’s siren call to angry Lyme Disease patients) spent decades feeling legitimately exploited and abused by corporate power, institutional failure, and U.S. health care dysfunction only to walk straight into the maw of some of the biggest grifting shitbags America may have ever spawned (which is really saying something).

This constant lying is not aimed at making the people believe a lie, but at ensuring that no one believes anything anymore. A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong. And such a people, deprived of the power to think and judge, is, without knowing and willing it, completely subjected to the rule of lies. With such a people, you can do whatever you want.”

– Hannah Arendt

This summer, our country and the world commemorated the 56^th anniversary of the historic and breathtaking Apollo astronaut’s Moon landing taking “a giant leap for mankind” while leaving behind a small U.S. flag and the delicate detailed footprints of the brave astronauts from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

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Donald Trump’s particulary unhinged United Nations speech shows how far America has fallen

In its own way, the Trump administration has also taken a breathtaking “giant leap” as our country and world look on. The leap that Trump and his MAGA co-conspirators have taken, however, is not extraterrestrial. This leap, rather, follows a deranged trail outside of the traditional political and civil discourse environment into the toxic atmosphere of blatant lies and deceptions, leaving behind a stench-filled, democracy-killing dump in its wake.

I found it more than ironic that Trump is going after his political foes by directing the Secretary of his Department of “Justice” Pam Bondi to file criminal perjury charges against former CIA Director James Comey as well as New York Attorney General Letitia James and California Sen. Adam Schiff (D) for alleged mortgage fraud.

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Yes, this is much more than ironic, going far over the point of projection, which, in psychological parlance, is “a defense mechanism” — a term coined by Sigmund Freud — where individuals “unconsciously attribute their own unacceptable feelings, thoughts, or traits onto someone else to avoid confronting them within themselves.”

Whether blatant lies, bravado, hyperbole, or self-dilution, considering his collective past statements, the public and our allies abroad cannot and should not trust Donald Trump, for he has no credibility remaining.

The Washington Post documented 30,573 false or misleading claims during Trump’s first presidential term alone, averaging approximately 21 per day.

Recently, Trump and his Department of State erroneously claimed on X that he had ended seven wars during his two presidential terms: including conflicts between Cambodia and Thailand, Kosovo and Serbia, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Rwanda, Pakistan and India, Israel and Iran, Egypt and Ethiopia, and Armenia and Azerbaijan.

These lies were eclipsed by his false assertion, during the last presidential election cycle, that he could end the war between Russia and Ukraine in just one day, and that he could bring peace between Israelis and Palestinians very quickly because of his great relationships with Russian President Vladimir Putin and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Starting back in the opening months of his first regime, Trump boldly asserted to his rally audience in Kenosha, Wisconsin: “No administration has accomplished more in the first 90 days.” But beneath this Trumpian hyperbole, what did he actually accomplish early in his last administration?

While the White House website then listed 28 bills Trump signed, it stands well below the 76 signed by Roosevelt in 1933. As PolitiFact reported, many of Trump’s bills were “minor or housekeeping bills,” and “none met a longstanding political-science standard for ‘major bills’.”

And yes, Trump’s hyperbole knows no bounds

He said, “I know more about ISIS than the generals, trust me.” But ISIS is not all he knows more about than anyone else.

Talking about an Obama-induced “crisis” throughout the country at the 2016 Republican National Convention, Trump guaranteed, “I alone can fix it.” But what can he really “fix” that benefits others rather than himself, his family, and his friends among the already superrich?

“I understand the tax laws better than almost anyone, which is why I’m the one who can truly fix them,” he said, adding, “I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world. Nobody knows more about taxes.”

Yes, in his latest “Big Beautiful Bill,” he “fixed” taxes by giving enormous tax breaks to the ultra-rich while providing virtually nothing for middle- and working-class people. The bill, now law, takes funding from childhood supplemental nutrition programs, child and elder care, international humanitarian assistance, and many other safety-net programs.

“Where are those mythical tax forms he promised to release? Where is his spectacular healthcare plan that will improve care and lower costs that he promised to pass?”

“I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth,” Trump said. And this must be the reason why he falsely argues against the renewable energy sources of solar and wind power, the latter of which he claims causes cancer and massive bird graveyards.

“I understand social media. I understand the power of Twitter. I understand the power of Facebook maybe better than almost anybody, based on my results, right?” he said. But he proudly but mistakenly claims that his own social media network, the fraudulently misnamed “Truth Social,” is not only very successful, but that it only broadcasts the actual truth.

“Nobody knows more about debt. I’m like the king. I love debt,” he said. And yes, he is attempting to become a king, and he knows so much about debt that his knowledge brought him to the bankruptcy courts six times.  

“Nobody knows banking better than I do,” he said. Yes, and this is possibly why he was accused and convicted in a New York civil case of committing fraud by knowingly inflating his net worth to obtain favorable bank loans and insurance terms.

“I understand money better than anybody…. I’m way up on the economy when it comes to questions on the economy,” he said. So, this must be the reason why he has failed in his campaign pledges to lower costs on consumer items while failing to lower inflation rates.

“I think nobody knows the [U.S.] system [of government] better than I do,” he said, though I’m certain that Trump could not pass a standard test given to people attempting to become naturalized citizens. He at least knows the U.S. governmental system well enough to destroy the long-established safeguards on his quest toward autocracy.

“Nobody knows more about trade than me,” he said. Well, he does at least know how to destroy global free trade by randomly imposing tariffs on countries around the world, even on an island country only inhabited by penguins.

“Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump,” he administration has claimed. So, is this the reason why Trump declared “Infrastructure Week” several times during his first regime, but it took Joe Biden and his administration actually to pass the largest and most extensive infrastructure bill since the Eisenhower administration created a federal highway system across the U.S.?

“There’s nobody bigger or better at the military than I am,” Trump said. Bigger or better in what ways? Insulting fallen military personnel as “suckers and losers”? Firing brave career officers on account of their race or gender? Taking funding from the federal Veterans Administration, thus reducing benefits and services for our veterans? Hiring a former Fox network weekend anchor with drinking and womanizing issues to head the Department of Defense, which Trump renamed the “Department of War”?

“I know more about offense and defense than they will ever understand, believe me. Believe me. Than they will ever understand. Than they will ever understand,” he said, adding, “There is nobody who understands the horror of nuclear more than me.”

Others can judge these statements, but I believe his claims are self-evident lies since he initially did not take dropping tactical nuclear weapons “off the table” when considering his options in taking military actions against Iran’s underground nuclear facility.

Whether blatant lies, bravado, hyperbole, or self-dilution, considering his collective past statements, the public and our allies abroad cannot and should not trust Donald Trump, for he has no credibility remaining.

In addition, where are those mythical tax forms he promised to release? Where is his spectacular healthcare plan that will improve care and lower costs that he promised to pass? Where are the best, brightest, and most qualified cabinet secretaries he promised to nominate?

When has he placed “America First” above his own self-interests and profits? Where are his excellent business negotiating skills? When will he and his family begin to “Hire and Buy American” in their businesses as he has demanded of the private sector? 

While he complained about some sort of conspiratorial voter fraud that deprived him of garnering the popular vote in 2016 and of winning the 2020 election, he has done nothing to prosecute the alleged conspiractors, to curb the real voter suppression efforts by the Republican Party nationwide, nor has he pushed to restore the Voting Rights Act to its once effective version before the Supreme Court gutted its chief provisions.

Though he accused the Democratic Party of the “Big Lie” of “rigging” the 2020 election, all of Trump’s lies have been big and dangerous, with possibly the biggest being that he will “Make America Great Again.”

Though our country has the potential of one day becoming truly great, when actually has America been “great” in our past?

“Fake news,” as used by Trump, includes any and all unfavorable news and other reports exposing this administration to the bright lights of public scrutiny.

German Nazis popularized the term Lügenpresse (“lying press”) to intimidate and silence opposition.

At press conferences, Trump disrespects reporters. He demands them to “sit down” when they ask questions he doesn’t like, and he speaks of a “running war” with the media. But, in fact, Trump leads a running war with the truth.

Donald Trump represents the voice of the alt-right in spreading his alt-facts within his alt-reality universe.

Because of our mighty press providing the democracy-saving antidote to his constant, dribbling yet torrential streamof misinformation, lies, and cover-ups from this and past administrations, We the People, by informing ourselves, will ensure that our system of government does not perish from the Earth.

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As Big Red's governance of the popular database comes into question, contributors to MySQL consider wresting control

Developers in the MySQL community are working together to challenge Oracle to improve transparency and commitment in its handling of the popular open source database, while considering other options, including forking the code.…

Microsoft confirmed today that Outlook mobile may crash or freeze when launched on iPad devices due to a coding error. [...]

1348 Ex Voto, a highlight-anticipated role-playing game, just hinted that its main character is a lesbian and fans are diving right into the sapphic hype.

The upcoming action-adventure RPG, set in 14th century medieval Italy, follows protagonist Aeta (Alby Baldwin), a young knight errant, as she braves the dangers of the Italian Peninsula to find Bianca (Jennifer English), who was kidnapped after bandits raided their village.

Set to be released on 12 March this year, the ambitious first project from development studio Sedleo has already garnered hype after it was first revealed in August 2025.

That hype has skyrocketed after its story trailer, released on Thursday (22 January), seemed to suggest Aeta and Bianca are in love.

A clip in the trailer shows the pair, presumably before the bandit raid, sharing a touching moment in a nearby field. It then shows Aeta, having survived an attack from bloodthirsty raiders, clutching a medallion belonging to Bianca in a moment best described as unabashed sapphic yearning.

Fans were quick to express their absolute elation that the game was going to feature a lesbian protagonist, noting that the game’s storefront on PC marketplace Steam describes Bianca as Aeta’s “closest one.”

LESBIAN KNIGHT GAME??? https://t.co/U4vaxBFHkX

— eva (@evgar_) January 22, 2026

“I, too, would go on a gruelling death-quest if Jennifer English was on the other side of it,” a Reddit user reacting to the trailer wrote. Jennifer English is an LGBTQ+ voice actor who has also worked on hit games Baldur’s Gate and Clair Obscur: Expedition 33.

Another fan, posting on Steam’s discussion forum, expressed their utter excitement by vowing to buy the game on “day one.”

1348 Ex Voto’s possible lesbian protagonist has right-wingers raging

Of course, there was the inevitable right-wing backlash from self-professed “history experts” who falsely claimed that LGBTQ+ people did not exist in medieval Europe, with some going as far as to accuse the game of “cultural appropriation.”

There are plenty of historical accounts of LGBTQ+ and lesbian relationships during the Middle Ages and in the centuries leading up to it. Among them is the 13th-century Trobairitz, Bieiries de Romans, who wrote a love poem, known as a Canso, to another woman.

Historical accounts of lesbian relationships date as far back as 10,000 BC, including an ancient Mesopotamian text that seems to mention same-sex activity between women.

Fans chalked up the right-wing historical revisionism to bigotry, with one saying the majority of complaints came from “butt hurt right-wing types making up stuff from seeing Brown/feminine/queer people exist in the setting.”

1348 Ex Voto has been described by many as a refreshing alternative to the upcoming game Knight’s Path after its developers were accused of homophobia.

The game, which features very similar gameplay mechanics to that of 1348 Ex Voto, released its first official trailer to X/Twitter earlier this week, as well as a set of posts introducing the game’s characters.

Its developers faced backlash after responding to a fan asking whether the game would feature LGBTQ+ representation, telling them: “We care about gaming and fun, not modern agendas.”

Share your story! Do you have an important, exciting or uplifting story to tell? Email us at news@pinknews.co.uk

The post People are seriously hyped for upcoming ‘Lesbian Knight Game’ 1348 Ex Voto appeared first on PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news.

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RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Angeria Paris VanMicheals has staked her claim as a future host of the show’s official aftershow The Pit Stop, revealing that she has been “pretty persistent” in trying to get the coveted gig.

Speaking to PinkNews, Drag Race season 14 finalist and All Stars 9 winner Angeria confirmed that she has contacted the MTV production team behind The Pit Stop about hosting the spin-off show in the future.

The Pit Stop, which began 10 years ago in 2016, is a YouTube series hosted each season by a different fan favourite Drag Race star. Each week, the host is joined by a fellow alumni of the reality series to discuss the events of that week’s episode. Bianca Del Rio, winner of Drag Race season six, is hosting the show for season 18; it’s her third time hosting overall.

Former hosts of The Pit Stop have included Trixie Mattel, Alaska and Monét X Change, all of whom are deemed fan favourites in the Drag Race universe.

Angeria, who is known among the show’s fans for watching every iteration of Drag Race in the world-spanning franchise, has long been anticipated to take on the role, given her encyclopedic drag knowledge. To date, that hasn’t happened.

“They have not reached out to me, but I have reached out to them,” Angeria said of contacting the team behind The Pit Stop. “I’m trying to get my foot in the door because that’s one of my goals. I’m thankful that a lot of the fan base thinks that I’d be a great choice for the job and I agree.

“I love [Drag Race] more than anything,” she continued. “This is my favourite show. I’ve been watching since season one and I know all about it. I’m the Rucyclopedia, as I call myself. I am the RuGirl that is a super fan as well, and who better to talk about it [than] someone who gets into the show the way that I do?”

Angeria, who is currently promoting the Oscar-shortlisted AIDS documentary Cashing Out – on which she is an executive producer – added that she would “jump at the chance” if she were offered the role in future.

“I’ve been pretty persistent in pursuing it and we gotta keep pursuing it. I believe that it will happen. I am manifesting that it will happen. It’s OK [that] it’s not happening right now, but that does not mean that it won’t.”

Considering her reputation as one of Drag Race’s most erudite contestants, Angeria Paris VanMicheals also revealed which queens are her picks for the crown, both on season 18, and on the upcoming third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK vs The World.

“I am rooting for two people specifically and one of them is Vita VonTesse Starr. We’ve been friends for the past 10 years and we basically started drag together,” she shared of the season 18 competitor.

“Aside from her I think the other person that I’m just completely obsessed with at the moment is Nini Coco. I met her and worked with her once before this season too and they are both just killing it.”

Both Vita VonTesse Star and Nini Coco placed in the top two of season 18’s first challenge, which was a garment design task using unconventional materials.

“I don’t even think you’ve seen the extent of it,” Angeria added of Vita’s sewing abilities.

“Wait ’til you see what she can do with fabric and materials that she works with on a regular basis. Vita got popular in the south basically because she was recreating celebrity looks from like Cardi B [to] Beyoncé and Janelle Monáe and posting them on social media. All the looks would go viral. I’m telling you she is a beast with a sewing machine.”

As far as Drag Race UK vs The World goes, Angeria is rooting for her American sister Mariah Paris Balenciaga, plus Drag Race Sverige finalist Fontana.

“Home team and also my auntie. We are in the same drag family,” Angeria said of her relationship with Mariah.

“I really liked Fontana on her original season and I just think RuPaul is going to love her. We have seen RuPaul’s reaction to entertainers like Fontana who are just very born for drag, as she likes to say. I think that she’s going to have that same reaction when she meets Fontana.

“She’s so fun and energetic and brings the personality to TV,” she added. “So I think she’s going to be somebody that they need to keep their eye on.”

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 18 continues on Fridays on MTV in the US and Saturdays on WOW Presents Plus internationally.

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK vs The World season three begins on 27 January on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer.

Share your thoughts! Let us know in the comments below, and remember to keep the conversation respectful.

The post RuPaul’s Drag Race winner says she has been ‘persistent’ in trying to host The Pit Stop appeared first on PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news.

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« A digital museum of video game levels

CLICK AND DRAG to look around and use WASD to move the camera

Hold SHIFT to go faster, and use MOUSE WHEEL to fine tune the speed Z toggles the UI. »

Pourquoi ?!

Parce que...

---

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American figure skater Amber Glenn is a contender for gold at the 2026 Olympic Winter Games, and she says coming out is why she’s excelling on the ice.

Selected as part of Team USA, she’ll head to Italy for the Winter Games as the first out LGBTQ+ woman to figure skate at an Olympics, according to Outsports.

Glenn came out publicly as bisexual and pansexual in 2019. “It was something that did set me free,” the 26-year-old told NBC News about coming out.

“I was able to feel like I wasn’t being pressured into trying to fill someone else’s shoes.”

Glenn says that coming out has been personally freeing. But also, living as her true self has led to an incredible moment in her career. Earlier this month, Glenn set a new record for the women’s US champion short program.

She then became the first US woman in 21 years to win a third consecutive US championship. If she gets on the podium, Glenn will become the first US woman to medal in figure skating since 2006.

Glenn came out in a Dallas Voice article covering Timothy LeDuc, who had become the first openly out athlete to win a US title in pairs skating. Sharing her support for her friend, she then publicly acknowledged her sexuality for the first time.

Looking back on it now, Glenn says that today she would make a more “professional” announcement. 

‘It was something that did set me free.’

@pinknews

Amber Glenn has made history by becoming the first out LGBTQ+ woman to compete in women’s figure skating. The 26-year-old figure skater, who identifies as bisexual and pansexual, will compete at the 2026 Winter Olympics in Italy. Speaking about being the first time she skated after coming out, Glenn said: “I remember skating my first competition after coming out and seeing pride flags in the audience.” She continued: “People were cheering louder than ever. I almost started crying before I even skated. It was one of the most emotional performances of my life. I felt so free.” #olympics #winterolympics #lgbtqia #pansexual #bisexual

♬ Ethereal – Txmy

“I thought, ‘OK, this is my little baby step, and … barely anyone’s gonna see it.’ It was a local newspaper,” she said. “Yeah, it did not stay local. The next day it was, like, international news.”

Because figure skating is subjectively scored, Glenn worried that her identity might influence her scores. “I was scared that I’d be looked at as less feminine, less graceful or ‘Oh, are you the man in the relationship?’

“But I realized, well, if we’re ever going to get past that worry, someone has to do it. Someone has to break that mold and break that stereotype in order for the next person who comes out not to be afraid of that because they saw that it didn’t affect me.”

“I learned a lot, and I think that being an advocate for the queer community and for mental health is one of the reasons why I keep going.”

She also added that she believes that coming out has not impacted her scoring.

Furthermore, Glenn notes that she thinks figure skating is “unique” in its LGBTQ+ acceptance. 

Glenn noted: “We have more acceptance and more of a community in the queer space, and I feel like I’ve been accepted with open arms, and that’s not the case for all sports.”

The 2026 Winter Olympics is shaping up to be a fabulous showcase of LGBTQ+ athleticism. The Heated Rivalry stars are torch bearers and Team GB’s LGBTQ+ athletes are on top form, going for gold.

The post Winter Olympics star says coming out as LGBTQ+ made her a better athlete appeared first on PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news.

One-time FSD purchase no longer available as Elon Musk talks up future where drivers can be asleep at the wheel

Having confirmed Tesla will start charging $99 a month for supervised Full Self-Driving (FSD), CEO Elon Musk has told the faithful that the cost will rise "as FSD's capabilities improve."…

GNU Guix 1.5 is out today as the latest major release for this platform built around its functional package manager. This is a big upgrade with it having been three years since the GNU Guix 1.4 release...

L’expert judiciaire exerce ces missions la plupart du temps seul. J’ai déjà raconté ici beaucoup d’anecdotes où je me suis senti bien seul face à mes écrans, en particulier lors d’analyses d’images et de films pédopornographiques, ou de visualisations de collections de vidéos ultra violentes… Mais la solitude peut se ressentir aussi autrement.

Il m’est arrivé, il y a quelques années, d’avoir à remplir une mission inhabituelle (pour moi) : un tribunal de commerce m’avait demandé de récupérer des données clients sur un serveur dans une entreprise qui venait de faire faillite et de faire l’inventaire du parc informatique afin de faciliter le travail du commissaire priseur.

J’ai d’ailleurs appris à mes dépens qu’il y a un certain nombre de points à vérifier avant de se déplacer pour une telle expertise. J’ai parlé de tout cela récemment cela dans le billet intitulé « Le siècle des lumières« . Voici la suite des évènements.

Quand un expert se déplace pour effectuer une mission, il est rarement mis au courant des détails très techniques qu’il va rencontrer. Dans cette affaire, et malgré mes nombreuses questions auprès de mes différents interlocuteurs, il m’était impossible d’avoir la moindre information technique intéressante : combien de PC, quel système d’exploitation (Windows, VMS, GCOS, Debian, AIX, Irix, Mac OS, NetBSD…), type des disques, leur capacité… Bon, par contre, tout le monde pouvait me donner le mot de passe du serveur (et c’était déjà ça).

Pour préparer mes affaires avant de partir, je procède donc exactement comme pour une expédition lointaine dans un pays dont on ne connaît ni la géographie ni le climat. Je mets dans une valise tous les éléments techniques qui pourraient m’être utile: disques de grosse capacité, nappes de fils, alimentations, tournevis, lampe électrique, unité centrale, écran, PC portable, papier, crayons, câbles et cartes réseaux, switchs, PQ…

Me voici donc, de bon matin, à deux cents km de chez moi, seul dans cette entreprise fermée depuis plus d’un an. Elle est située dans un grand appartement de six pièces. Il flotte dans l’air comme une odeur de renfermé. J’ouvre les volets.

Je repère très vite le serveur (installé dans la cuisine aménagée pour l’occasion en salle serveur). L’électricité ayant été remise la veille, j’appuie sur le bouton de démarrage après avoir vérifié l’état général des connexions électriques. Le serveur s’allume dans un bruit d’enfer qui semble normal.

Je regarde sur les murs de la cuisine d’anciens messages de « team building », des consignes divers, des dates à ne pas oublier, des numéros de téléphone de contacts d’urgence. Et dans un coin, une citation latine que devraient connaître tous les sysadmins : « Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris » (Lorsque viendra l’orage, tu seras seul).

Assis devant l’écran, je fais mes premières constations: bios, nombre et type de disques, OS, messages d’alerte… jusqu’à la fenêtre de demande d’identification. J’entre le mot de passe indiqué dans les documents qui m’ont été fournis: sésame ouvre toi, ça marche ! Je récupère les données sur mon disque externe reconnu par l’OS. C’est un coup de chance car aucune de mes nappes ne correspondent au système du serveur. Cela fait une heure que je suis là et la première partie des missions est déjà accomplie. Je suis content.

Là où cela s’est un peu corsé, c’est quand j’ai voulu remettre en état le réseau en place. En effet, de nombreuses données sont présentes sur les disques durs des différents PC et tous ne disposent pas de port USB, alors qu’ils sont tous connectés en réseau. Rien ne fonctionne, aucune machine ne voit le serveur. Petite inspection à quatre pattes en salle serveur. Je constate alors que le réseau a été « saboté ». Des câbles ont été retirés, certains branchés de manière à faire des boucles plus ou moins évidentes. A vue de nez, il manque une dizaine de câbles… Début des ennuis.

Je referme bien l’appartement à clef, puis commence à chercher un magasin d’informatique ou d’électronique. Nous sommes samedi midi, la ville est déserte. Je demande aux commerçants ouverts, mais ils sont incapables de me renseigner. Je découvre un magasin de bricolage à 10 km et je prends ma voiture pour le dévaliser… Victoire et retour dans l’entreprise.

Réseau fonctionnel, je commence à récupérer les données de chaque poste de travail (il y en a dix!). L’après midi bien entamé y passera. Le soir arrive, la pénombre aussi. Les yeux fatigués, je me lève pour allumer la lumière : rien. Tous les plafonniers ont été vidés de leurs néons et ampoules. J’allume tous les écrans et reprend le travail dans la lumière blafarde. Je sors ma lampe de poche et m’en sers pour me déplacer entre les meubles. Certains écrans grésillent. Je me sens seul.

Je préviens mon épouse de ne pas s’inquiéter. Les ombres et les fantômes de l’entreprise suffisent déjà à me mettre mal à l’aise. Quelques craquements se produisent dans les pièces voisines. Le changement de température sans doute. Au fait, il n’y a pas de chauffage… Je mets mon manteau et bouge un peu les bras pour me réchauffer. Je note sur ma « check list » de penser à prendre des vêtements chauds la prochaine fois.

23h. Fini. Je ramasse tous mes équipements, toutes mes affaires et toutes mes notes. Je remets tout en état. J’éteins et ferme tout. Me voici dans le couloir avec ma lampe de poche et mon sac de sport rempli de matériel sur l’épaule. Je me rends compte soudain que je n’ai pas pensé à prévenir les voisins ni la police de ma présence. J’ai vraiment l’air d’un cambrioleur. Par chance, personne ne viendra m’inquiéter.

Sur le chemin du retour, il n’y a personne sur la route.

Je suis encore seul.